I’m a girlie girl. I like pretty things. I’m distracted by shiny objects. I want to dance with fashion models in glossy magazine spreads and clothing TV commercials set against white backgrounds with a fan softly blowing my hair.
I want to believe that skintight pleather pants look good on me; that designer bags are a rational investment; that 5″ stiletto heels are comfortable; and that mirrors in change rooms aren’t strategically positioned to make me look skinnier and taller.
The reality is that only 0.1% of the population actually look good in snakeskin jeggings or a thong bikini, and that most of them reside in Brazil.
I’m not a cynic, I’m a fashion realist. That 0.1% of the population are freaks. Freaks of nature that have been airbrushed after hours of hair and makeup and captured at the most flattering angle in perfect lighting. Fashion is fantasy. And so this realist will be returning her shiny, skintight pleather pants…but keeping the shoes.