Things that make me cry (that shouldn’t)

  • Bad haircuts (See Overpriced Hair)
  • Handicapped dogs
  • Pinot Grigio, but only out of love
  • The “Thank You Mom” P&G commercial. I’m not a mom or an Olympic athlete (breaking news, I know!), but apparently I’m very easily manipulated by marketers.

  • But seriously, who didn’t bawl like a baby during the first 5 minutes of UP?

  • I’m a sucker for every time the fat kid/loser rocks it on reality TV.

  • Grey’s Anatomy. I had to choose happiness and stop watching it.

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Things a Girl will Never Say

1. Do these pants make me look too skinny?

2. I look too hot in these photos.

3. OMG, these shoes are super cute!! I’m not gonna buy them.

4. I just got my period and I feel amazing!

5. I’m so excited to stay in tonight and watch UFC.

6. Those Victoria Secret models are so real.

7. I love it when you can see my panty lines through my pants.

8. That girl looks great with her boobs hanging out. She should do that more often.

9. Oh cool, I just got my first wrinkle!

10. I wish I could be more like Snooki.

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